Disturbing thoughts from the bottom of the ocean:

You have a mouth but cannot scream. There’s movement all around you, yet the world is nearly silent. Two sounds pierce through the deep blue of your surroundings, the bubbles released from their steel cage when you exhale through your regulator, and your own endless thoughts. 80 ft. Good, I’m officially a deep hipster. What a cool parrotfish! That shark is swimming toward me. Don’t panic.

It’s been five seconds

Where is my dive buddy? This is a lot like flying, and he’s a fighter jet. Check your buoyancy. Take a deep breath. 85ft. Okay good, you didn’t just kick the coral with your fin damaging one of the most important ecosystems on the planet. My hands look like prunes. How much air do I have left? I really have to pee. Oh good the shark turned around. And that’s a 5 ft Great Barracuda instead. Everything here wants to eat me. Why is 90% of life cannibalistic? The boat is to my west and the current has picked up. Keep your hands close to your sides. Swim away from the Barracuda calmly. Don’t show weakness. Kick. Watch the coral! Wait. Does it care if I show weakness? Kick. Its eyes are soulless like a snake’s, that’s so cool.

It’s been ten seconds.

Scuba diving forces you to juggle air, buoyancy, depth, the environment, your physical proximity, predators, your buddy’s location, the group’s location, the boat’s location, and your own sanity. You must remain calm, taking deep breaths to slow your heart rate so you can have more dive time and all the while remembering to have fun.

I’ll never drown under pressure.